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In the arcades, Atari’s T-MEK was a monstrous and intimidating machine. The massive cab fit two players and could be linked to another, making for some awesome four-player matches. The 32X version, however, lost that great multi-player capability in the conversion (along with most of the game’s charm), and if you listened hard enough, you could hear the poor little mushroom panting as it strained under the T-MEK’s engine. I guess it’s true that sometimes, a game is better left in the arcade.
Robert De Niro as Frankenstein’s monster… just sit and think about that for a minute. De Niro is an incredible actor, but there’s something about him portraying Mary Shelly’s piecemeal gollom that just doesn’t click. I guess more than a few people felt the same way about Kenneth Branagh’s trainwreck adaptation of the classic Gothic novel, but of course, Sony Imagesoft had to check this one off on its list of licensed horrors. I think the game might actually be worse than the film, and in this case, that’s saying something.
It seems that no one liked Last Action Hero. The Governator was beginning his slow downward spiral into movie retirement, and his first movie after the incredible T2: Judgment Day got trounced at the box office by Sleepless in Seattle. So poorly did the movie do, that Shwarzenegger’s own salary was virtually equal to its opening weekend gross. Of course, Sony tried to capitalized on the movie with a video game tie-in, and to say that the game mimics the film isn’t entirely accurate. Let’s just say that as bad as the movie may be, the game is infinitely worse. Horrible gameplay, repetitive enemies, brutal difficulty, and levels that go on way too long are only some of the problems that plague this doorstop.
When Arnold said that he’d be back, he didn’t necessarily mean in a good game. Flying Edge’s Terminator 2: Judgement Day had the player take on the dream roll of the Governator himself, as he strove to save John Conner from the more advanced T-1000. With sluggish gameplay, outrageous mission objectives, and some of the most obnoxious bikers ever to curse a video game, it’s amazing the world didn’t end up as one big radioactive crater. Still, there are enough good points to at least keep you plugging away for a while.
Ah, licensed slop. It’s everywhere, no matter which console you own, and it’s managed to transcend hardware generations like some mutant virus that morphs into a new strain every five years or so. The Genesis was no exception, as evident by today’s poor example of wasted silicon. Sony Imagesoft continued its tradition of horrible licensed software with No Escape, a game surprisingly done by the mostly awesome-on-Genesis Psygnosis. What happened? Maybe it was an off day, or maybe the development budget all went towards women and booze. No one knows, and after playing this turd, no one probably cares either.